It is Thursday.
Today is the first day since being in Mexico that I have not felt like shit for at least part of the day. It's the first day in almost a week that I haven't felt nauseous. I consider that a blessing.
Today I found out that my friend's (who is my program at school) boyfriend is dead.
I know that's blunt, but I hate when people try to sugar coat things to make them seem better. He "passed." He is dead. Just like that, he was taken out of her life. This man, who was her everything. Her rock, her solitude, her sense of grounding. She has had so much happen to her, and it seems so unreal. I am in shock that his person who meant everything to her is dead. I feel so heartbroken for her, she has been in my thoughts all day. She is such a sweet, caring, genuine person. I don't understand why he was taken.
I believe everything happens for a reason. I do believe that. In some way, this was meant to happen. That almost sounds sick as I say it, but I still believe it. But just because I believe it doesn't mean I think it's fair.
KJ was like, "she must be shook up." Um. I don't think shook up would be the word. More like completely devastated. If that had been him, I just know I wouldn't even be able to get out of bed.
Life is so fragile. This summer has taught me that. My uncle killed himself. He shot himself in the head because he was so sick. He couldn't see how much he was leaving behind. Couldn't see the repercussions of his actions. You can die in one second. My brother went from having a normal heat stroke, to being diagnosed with two kidney diseases.
There is nothing in this life that is absolute. Anything can happen, at any time. It's frustrating that it takes a tragedy, or a difficult situation to be able recognize the depth of suffering or how quickly life can break beneath your own feet. It takes next to nothing for a world to shatter.
Now I can understand why people say live every day like your last. It's terrifying how easily it could be.
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