006. Life Delicacy

I just had the strangest moment of realization.

I was on the train home, and there was a younger lady that got on and sat in the seat infront of me. She had her face turned toward the window, so I could see the one half of her face. We were downtown, but it was a part of downtown that the sun was shielded by all of the buildings. For some reason, I was watching her because she had such a peace in her demeanor. The way she was sitting and looking out the window just caught my eye. And then I saw as she closed her eyes just a split second before the sunlight hit our faces, and she closed her eyes with such... delicateness. It blew me away. There was something so beautiful about that moment, and I really still don't know why. I find pleasure in the simplest of moments.

I kept thinking of that split second moment the rest of the train ride. I was thinking about her anticipation for just a moment of the sun that would have stung her eyes if she hadn't of closed them. It made me think, all of a sudden, about how delicate we are. As humans, we are such complex creatures and yet, we are so delicate. We hide behind the walls we create, and by the skin that covers us. We hide our hearts because sometimes we don't want to show that sense of delicacy. All of our hurt, pain, uncomfortableness, or mental illness... it stems from something. It stems from a trigger we have that comes from one single split second moment that has a profound effect on us. Moments that make or break us over and over again.

It made me realize just how important it is to be compassionate in my life. That anger, bitterness, or hate that I can have gets me nowhere. Don't mistake me, I'm not some kind of neo hippie. But it's true. The compassion we show in our lives without the expectation of getting anything in return is faith based. You don't even have to be religious to have faith, I tell people this all of the time. But there is something so real about the delicateness of human lives. Having compassion on people, and loving on people, that creates realness. You never know when that compassion will have an ever lasting effect on a person. And if we live through compassion, these moments will come. For the last year and a half of my life, I have chosen to change the way I perceive things. But now I see that I still have a long ways to go. And sure, maybe living like this makes me naive. Perhaps it means I let people take advantage of me and the compassion I try to have in all situations. But I feel like I am making a difference, and that is what matters to me.

It just astounds me that a moment so simple can bring on such a transition in thought and action.