006. Life Delicacy

I just had the strangest moment of realization.

I was on the train home, and there was a younger lady that got on and sat in the seat infront of me. She had her face turned toward the window, so I could see the one half of her face. We were downtown, but it was a part of downtown that the sun was shielded by all of the buildings. For some reason, I was watching her because she had such a peace in her demeanor. The way she was sitting and looking out the window just caught my eye. And then I saw as she closed her eyes just a split second before the sunlight hit our faces, and she closed her eyes with such... delicateness. It blew me away. There was something so beautiful about that moment, and I really still don't know why. I find pleasure in the simplest of moments.

I kept thinking of that split second moment the rest of the train ride. I was thinking about her anticipation for just a moment of the sun that would have stung her eyes if she hadn't of closed them. It made me think, all of a sudden, about how delicate we are. As humans, we are such complex creatures and yet, we are so delicate. We hide behind the walls we create, and by the skin that covers us. We hide our hearts because sometimes we don't want to show that sense of delicacy. All of our hurt, pain, uncomfortableness, or mental illness... it stems from something. It stems from a trigger we have that comes from one single split second moment that has a profound effect on us. Moments that make or break us over and over again.

It made me realize just how important it is to be compassionate in my life. That anger, bitterness, or hate that I can have gets me nowhere. Don't mistake me, I'm not some kind of neo hippie. But it's true. The compassion we show in our lives without the expectation of getting anything in return is faith based. You don't even have to be religious to have faith, I tell people this all of the time. But there is something so real about the delicateness of human lives. Having compassion on people, and loving on people, that creates realness. You never know when that compassion will have an ever lasting effect on a person. And if we live through compassion, these moments will come. For the last year and a half of my life, I have chosen to change the way I perceive things. But now I see that I still have a long ways to go. And sure, maybe living like this makes me naive. Perhaps it means I let people take advantage of me and the compassion I try to have in all situations. But I feel like I am making a difference, and that is what matters to me.

It just astounds me that a moment so simple can bring on such a transition in thought and action.

005. Little Bit of Everything

So, no big deal. It was -40 degrees with the windchill in Calgary this morning. It is November 23rd, and we have already reached the -40's. What is wrong with this picture? Oh that's right - nothing. Because that is so Calgary for you that it's not even funny. The sad thing is that I'm already used to it. So, I could probably deal with it staying in at -20 or so. But, NOPE. Just kidding. At the end of the week it will get up to +1. I am already mentally preparing myself for the nasty mush that is going to happen once everything starts to melt. Not impressed. After I am married, I am uprooting my life to a climate that is not so inconsistent. Maybe.

I didn't go to school this morning because as I stated above it was -40 with windchill, and I was not about to drag my butt out of bed for one class. Sorry, naaaaat happening. Tomorrow I have my 8am class, but I don't have to go because we are doing the second half of the presentations and I did mine last Friday. Which is beautiful, because then I don't have to be at school until 2 for my next class. Woohoo! I can't believe how close it is to term being over. What is going on?

It's exactly one month until I am out of my teens for good. I will offically be part of the 20's decade. This is exciting! I am excited to turn 20, actually. I have always been overly excited for my birthdays, but at first I was dreading this one. I've accepted it now, and decided to embrace it. However, just because I am turning 20 doesn't mean I can't also embrace my lack of maturity once in awhile. So, neon bowling for my birthday? Yes, I think so! So excited.

I had to work with my manager, Colleen, tonight. She is... an interesting character. I can't help but love on her, even though she drives me crazy as a boss. She is a good person, and I can see that. Anyway, mostly our assistant manager runs the store now, which is good because everyone loves her. Colleen is finally leaving our location at the end of December. It's a big deal because she's been here for almost two years and was only supposed to be here for six months. She told me that she is making me learn cash before she leaves, though. She said she'd have no problem giving me keys so I could babysit the store once in awhile, as long as I had a closing cashier and some experience with cash. So apparently I have to learn it now. Like it will make a difference. I will get taught, she will leave, and I wont be made key holder. The EXACT same thing happened with my old manager before Colleen. Let's set aside the fact that I am more than qualified (other than not knowing cash) to be a key holder because I know everything to do with that store. I know it inside and out because I have been working there practically since the dawn of time. Colleen was even like, "You've been here for seven years, you need to learn." I was impressed with her exaggeration. It made me laugh. I still don't really want to be taught cash, though. I don't know. I suppose it is about time I learned properly. And, it will help my qualifications when I look for a new job.

I guess I should go to bed now, even though I don't have to be up early. That way I can finish my LAST essay of the term for English, thank the LORD. I had to do so many. Maybe I will try to watch Glee online before bed, I didn't get a chance to watch it because I was still at work. I love Glee. Best TV show ever.

004. Harry Potter

SO. I went to see the midnight premiere showing of Harry Potter on Thursday night. OH, HAY CHILHOOD. It was THE BEST. I think it might be my favorite of the movies so far. I think they did such a great job. I actually like the fact that they split the book into two, because that way they could put in so much more detail. It was lovely. And they actually stayed pretty close to the book. There were obviously a couple of parts that were different, but not different enough to effect the movie. AH. I just loved it. I love love love loved it. I can't believe it's almost over completely! Once the last movie is out then that's it! Nothing more to look forward to, just a heck of a lot of memories. Harry Potter is my childhood, there are no books that I adore more. So much love. Daniel, Rupert and Emma all did such a great job. Actually, the whole cast did! I didn't think any of the acting was terrible. AH. 5/5 STARSSSSSSS.

love.

Last week was crazy at school, and it's kind of nice that I don't have much to do this weekend for once. Well, I have an essay due on Wednesday. But I almost always sit down and write it in one sitting if it's possible. In this case, I can. So, I will. This blog fails, because I can't think of anything else to write.

OH, WAIT. I do. I get to go Mexico, afterall. Kj has been talking about it for months, and was completely conviced it was going to happen. Darlene found a deal, so that we are paying 790 for there and back, which isn't bad. But. I just couldn't afford spending that much right now, especially because it would be about another 200 for spending money. So I told Darlene to cancel my ticket. She didn't right away, and I ended up messaging her and explaining why I just felt like I couldn't. BUT THEN she had to go and be bad, and told me she could help me out by covering me for 300 until mid- January and then I could pay the rest back. So, I ended up agreeing. BUT, it was so good because I told Darlene to tell Kj I had said no so I could surprise him. I was thinking maybe I would try to keep it a secret until Christmas, but I knew I wouldn't be able to manage it. So I just decided to wait until the end of the day when we saw eachother at youth. I went to the back and got the 500 for Darlene and put it in an envelope. On the front I wrote her name, and then on the back I wrote, "Just kidding. I'm coming to Mexico." Once I got to Youth, I handed the envelope face up to Kj and asked him to give it to his mom. He looked so confused, and asked me what it was for. So I said, "Turn it over." VERY INNOCENTLY, my goodness I was impressed with myself. And then his mouth dropped open and he couldn't believe I tricked him. But he was so happy, and that made me even more sure I mad the right decision. I am so excited, and blessed.

003. "John of God"

Ah, yes. It has come. My very first review/ opinion of a source.

John of God

So, my mother and I love Oprah. All of you may think whatever it is you would like about her, but I find her truly inspirational and a wonderful, wonderful person. There are not many with a heart like hers. Her last season has been particularly good, as all of us avid watchers knew it would be. I have been following all these episodes very closely. Today's espisode was about a simple farmer living in Brazil. People around the world these days have been known to call him "John of God" and Oprah was quite clear it was not a name he gave himself, rather a name people who have seen him gave him. Now, let me be quite clear. Yes, I believe in Jesus Christ. I believe he died on the cross to save me from my sin. And I am quite skeptical to "healing doctors" or "witch doctors" or whathaveyou. But this guy... Wow. First of all, it did help that Oprah pointed out that he himself had said that he works through the power of God. And from all the raw and seemingly true footage that they put on this show, I can scarcely imagine how someone could not be rattled by it. I believe it is the work of God.

(Let me just interject for a second to give you a link to a clip of the show ... http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Face-to-Face-with-John-of-God-Video_1 )

She interviewed a non religious woman who also happened to be a journalist, and the editor and chief of the O magazine. She also interviewed a man who was a medical doctor, and a chief of pyschiatry. What really got me was Dr. Jeff Rediger. If a obviously intelligent and respectable man like that, who believes wholly in science and logic, can have his life turned upside down, then this episode could potentially change millions of views around the world. What a revelation! I cannot believe how powerful it was to hear these two skeptics, or atleast one skeptic and one indifferent, both leave that place and openly admit that it was unexplainable. And, the fact that they so profoundly described that love and faith can change lives. THAT IS KEY, PEOPLE. That is Jesus. God is love (in my clearly unbiased opinion... *ahem* Just kidding. It's a little biased. I can admit that). But it is what we Christians believe. John of God performs healing miracles, both physical and mental. In the episode we see footage as I said before of John of God's very unorthadox ways of surgery, and yet the results are there. My mother had a hard time not squirming because the footage shown was very graphic, but I think that only proves how much more real it could be.

I am so impacted by this, and I can't believe that I've never heard of John of God before. People travel thousands and thousands of miles to see John of God. I would love to go there someday just to experience him and his work as a whole; to really see what is up. I think the Oprah show did a very good job of expressing both believer and skeptic points of view, even interviewing a woman who went to John of God and was not healed. They kept it very unbiased, and I was extremely impressed by that.

I am going to keep this blog short and simple and leave it up to everyone to judge it for themselves. It's not something that I can put a lot of words into, because it really is something the individual either has to watch or experience first hand. I just couldn't not say something about it.

This link is for more information on the doctor Oprah interviewed...
http://www.drrediger.com/

And this link are first hand accounts of believers and skeptics
http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Do-You-Believe-in-Miracles_1

I just want to end with this quote. On the Oprah site it said, "In the terms of his own experience with John of God, Dr. Rediger says it's been life changing."

"Perhaps the real heart within us is not just a pump. Perhaps the real heart within us is about love and faith. Perhaps the physical body is not who we really are. Perhaps we are these invisible souls walking around, and the body is just an instrument or metaphor for something we are trying to learn."

Now, tell me that's not interesting. 

002. Oh, Mondays.

I hope I am not the only one who enjoys changing straight into their sweats and baggy t-shirt the minute they get home from work. It is the best feeling ever, being in comfy clothes. Because I conveniently made it so I don't have class Monday's, I generally end up working until 5 and then I head out to Tehillah. Nope, not Tequila. It's not a bar or a club. In Hebrew, Tehillah is translated as "The outward, visible expression of praise and worship." Actually, I googled that. I have no idea if it's right or not. But baaasically, it is a modernized church service that is very young adult based. The church that holds the service is pentecostal, but the people who attend Tehillah Mondays are multidenominational. It really is a great place. But, just kidding. If you look at the time, you will see that I am infact not at Tehillah because I being who I am, left an essay to the night before it's due.

See, now this is a problem with me. I have had this minor (except it is a lot more than minor) issue of motivation/procrastination throughout my life. It was the worst in high school. I'm surprised I even graduated after the lack of work I did. I pretty much allowed myself to just slide past high school in whatever form of mediocrity I could get. Taking a year off school not only completely changed my life - This I'm sure will be brought up in a later blog - but it also allowed me to regain an appreciation for school. Now that I go to university, I am doing much better. I actually have completed and handed in all of the assignments on time. I just haven't quite kicked the habit of procastinating.

We are just finishing up this annual sale at work called "Friends and Family." It's 50% off the whole store. Oh, and just incase I ever do get followers who don't know me, I work at a retail store called Urban Behaviour. If you ever get the chance to work there, don't. I've been there for over two years, and apart from the staff that I love with my whole heart, the company is crap. Atleast, in my humble opinion. Moving on, the sale. It was actually pretty dead comapred to the other two years I've been a part of it. I think the economy has definitely had an effect on shopping. I won't deny the underlying reason people aren't shopping. The quality of the clothes are kind of cheap. AND. The way the stuff is sized is ridiculous. The store is obviously meant for small asians. Not that I am trying to offend any asians, but they are generally short and very small. And that is how the clothes are made. If you have ever seen me, you would wonder why I work there. Because I am a giant. I am 5'11, and pretty solidly built. Like I said. The people are outrageously wonderful.

Okay. I really have to stop procrastinating now. OH, WAIT. Let me first also just say that I am extremely proud of my Shoppers purchase on my break today. I have this kind of obsession with lip chap. Chap stick. Whatever the heck you call it. I always get the same kind. Anyway, they had my kind on sale. There were two in a package, and they were selling two packages for five bucks. Ding ding ding, we have a winner. I am all stocked up now, and happy as a clam.

But not really. Because I still have to go write this damn essay. Wish me luck.

001. New Directions!

Now, this is refreshing!

I am not new to blogging. I played host to my first blog for over a year. And, of course, we can't forget all those old sites like Nexopia that used to be the big thing when I was a young teenager. There was definitely some blogging going on, there, too. However! I felt that it was time for a different direction to my blogging, so I have started a new one.

I am opening this blog up to Facebook, twitter, and all of those social networking sites. I don't expect to get a lot of followers, but I am making this blog for something that I can look back on.

Just to get the basis...

There will be religion talk, senstive topic talk, and all of that light and fluffy stuff that comes in between. If you don't want to read that, I suggest you don't follow the blog. But I am betting that over time if you are a follower that doesn't know me personally... you'll end up becoming quite accustomed to me and my life.

When I was trying to think of a clever title for this blog, I started out with "Life As I See It." Yes, I know. Both clever and creative. But then I thought to myself, self, life is experience based. It is all relative. People could see it as I see it, but it's more likely that they won't. Thus the title, "Life As I Learn It." I think it's a learning process; an unforgettable and unexplainable wonder. So why not entertain the thoughts that I learn while I start to grow up. And I say start to grow up because I have only just begun.